September 11 - 10 years later

It seems that part of my life has come full circle.  Ten years ago on September 11th, I was working an overnight shift in the Florida Keys as a participant in the KAMP program for part of my graduate work.  My replacement arrived and I headed home between 7 and 8 am Eastern, said a quick hello to the other grad students/friends in the rental house we had on one of the many islands in the Keys,  and headed to my downstairs "cave" to catch up on sleep.

I was totally out of it when one of the grad students from A&M bust into my room and said I needed to get upstairs quick because something bad was happening.  Not fully cognizant of what was going on, I managed to get some clothes on thinking that one of our vehicles was in an accident, the SMART-R truck was on fire, or some other project-related possibility and I would be worthless with one hours sleep.  Instead, everyone was in the living room clustered around the TV watching smoke pouring out of one of the two World Trade Center towers.  I asked what I was watching and no one could really give me a straight answer.  Within minutes we all realized what was going on.

Forever etched in my memory is the scene of the second airplane ramming into the second WTC tower, live shortly after 9 am.  Live.  On TV.  My exact thoughts at that moment were quite simple and quite blunt and I still remember them to this day...

"Oh my God.  Oh Shit.  This isn't good."

A couple of cell phones started to ring within a few minutes, but then the house phone rang.  That number was reserved for getting in touch with the project directors only.  Sure enough, one of the lead scientists was calling saying that they were stuck at Key West Naval Air Station under lockdown; anyone leaving the NASA radar site would be arrested at gunpoint.  After a couple more phone calls to the house phone and some terse/short conversations, the SMART-R engineer looked as us all and said to get all the vehicles, go get gas and Diesel, get the tanks topped off on the SMART-R, refill the spares and get an emergency kit packed.  Then my cell phone started to ring.

My parents were nowhere to be found.  My sisters and I knew that they were on vacation in Lake City, CO but details were still sketchy about how widespread the threat was.  Wild thoughts started to run through my mind, the minds of my sisters, and grandparents who were trying to check in on their kids.  The one thing I think my sisters and I wanted to hear was "It will all be O.K.".  As it turns out, Mom and Dad were totally (and likely fortunately) oblivious for much of the morning as they fished well out of cell phone range and also managed to drop the keys to their Suburban into one of the lakes.  They were probably in one of the safest places in the States at that time; nestled up in the heart of the Rockies in the central part of the U.S.A. but it still is unnerving not being able to get in touch with your Mom or Dad in a crisis such as the one that was unfolding.  It wasn't until the end of the day that we heard from my parents and they were O.K. and when we finally were able to see each other face-to-face a few months later, they told me they were confident that I would be O.K. because "I had my head on straight".  On the 11th, that may have been the case IF I was in Texas but instead I was stuck well over 1000 miles away from "home".

The rest of the day has already faded away from memory.  I don't remember where I was or what I was doing when the third hijacked plane hit the Pentagon or the passengers fought back on the fourth plane.  I do remember seeing FBI wanted posters all over the Keys later that week as they finally started to unravel who was involved.  I remember a bunch of conversations about whether we could continue the field project or not.  There was a brief stand-down but then Tropical Storm (at that time) Gabrielle presented an opportunity to do a mobile deployment of the then-new SMART-R.  The weekend after September 11th, the FAA and national security teams had decided to open the National Airspace System again and I didn't care what opportunities there were, I wanted to get back to Texas, to my home state, and to a much closer proximity to my firearms for "WTSHTF".  In hindsight it was a poor decision because I missed out on "chasing" a tropical storm at the time but I didn't care, I wanted to get back to the Hub City and back closer to home.

That was another interesting event; since the airline flights were all messed up, my reservations were out the window.  I have no doubt that my guv'ment employer issued ID helped getting through the backlog of passengers and United actually managed to get me back to Texas through some interesting routing.  Key West to Miami to Philadelphia to DFW to the Hub City.  And first class the whole way.  After getting my seat on the aisle on the Miami to Philly flight, the stewardess and a rather burly man in a United uniform asked if I would mind taking the window seat instead.  We made the swap, introduced each other and shook hands which is when he noticed my class ring and asked what academy I went to.  I pointed out that it was an Aggie ring and that I had graduated a couple of years earlier.  He apologized and stated that it looked a lot like his West Point class ring from the side.  Sure enough, he was retired Army and I was able to put two and two together and at some point in our conversation he quickly added; "Don't ask about why we swapped seats".  All I said in response was "I understand".  He was put on the aisle so he could have a clear view of the cockpit door, and I still wonder if he had some form of firearm with him...

And now 10 years later, that is the norm.  You never know when the person sitting next to you in an Air Marshall or not.  I made it back to Texas without any problems, graduated from the ATMO program at Tech, lived/am living through the ongoing wars on Terror, in Iraq, and in Afghanistan.  There have been a couple of flights in and out of Washington, D.C. on American Airlines in the last couple of years and each one of those flights began with a prayer and a mental note of who was boarding the plane or not.  Yes, you can say that I was mentally profiling those who were walking on those planes and I bet there are plenty people in the U.S. that would be guilty of that.  Now I am back in the same city I was in ten years ago but in a totally different stage of life, different world, and a different worldview.  Then there is the hovering well above the background noise level a sense of uncertainty on where I will be when the next attack/attempted attack will be and how I will respond.

There is so much more I've thought over and continue to mull over but will hold off for now.  I'm not here to write a thesis but reflect on how much my life changed on that day 10 years ago.  However, I'll leave you with this thought.  One of my friends recently posted this on Facebook and I totally agree with her:

"Violence begets violence.  Unforgiveness begets unforgiveness.  But as long as I live I will never ever forget."